Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Jason Show Goes to . . . a Football Game?

No, that was not a misprint.  The cast and crew of The Jason Show packed up and headed down to beautiful Pasadena, California, home of the famed Rose Bowl, for a UCLA football game.


I'll admit.  I wasn't thrilled to be going to a football game.  In fact, my first inclination was to politely decline, citing a bladder infection or that I had to wash my hair, or that I had to slowly pry my toenails off with pliers, one by one.  But someone, who shall remain nameless but perhaps plays the wife in my relationship at times, coerced me into going.  Yes, he coerced and guilted me into going, and he pulled the "we are gay dads and we need to expose our son to things outside of our comfort zone sometimes" card.

Well, the only reason I relented was because some of my very favorite people in the world were also going to be at the party, namely these favorite people:







In spite of how much fun I knew we were going to have, I was still a little sullen all day before we left for the game.  Because, geez, it's the principle of the thing, you know?  I have very strict standards to uphold, promises I made to myself, you know, blah, blah, blah.


As you can see, it took Diego a long time to come out of his shell and get into the whole excitement of tailgating. 


 Surprise, I had never been tailgating!  I had it in my mind that it would just be a bunch of drunk rednecks shouting obscenities and getting all riled up over inconsequential things.  But one thing I failed to realize is that the UCLA crowd is, most likely, a far cry from, say, this crowd:


(Not that there's anything wrong with that! In fact, the more I look at the Google-found photo, the more turned on I become.)

Moving right along.....


We took lots of pictures, including the ones that emphasized the sporty nature that JLo and I share.  Notice, I am pointing out the UCLA on her shirt?  Pretty sporty of me, isn't it?

  
The UCLA cheerleaders stopped by and cheered happy birthday to the birthday boy.


Then the UCLA marching band stopped and played, then sang happy birthday to the birthday boy.



Then I got a permanent UCLA tattoo on my leg.  If THAT doesn't say sporty, then nothing does.


Then we were given field passes and we watched the players warm up for the game.


Yes, we were this close.  Close enough to see that the pants are way too tight, not flattering at all, and that the players wear jock straps, along with maxi pads.  Oh, yes they do.  Or do they not?  Someone correct me.




This is the shot that I posted on Facebook to prove that, yes, I did indeed take my son to a football game.  I had to snicker at the supportive and impressed comments on the photo--I guess I kinda sorta let people believe that I orchestrated the whole thing.


But in the end, I had a good time, even without the use of alcohol or other mind-altering substances.


No, really, none of us had been drinking when this photo was taken.  I like how this photo emphasizes my recent collagen injections.  Now if I could only get in for a botox appointment for that forehead of mine.

One final admission:  Diego and I left before halftime had even started because, in Diego's own uncanny, wise words, "Why don't they just keep playing?  They play for like five seconds and then they stop for ten minutes for no reason!  Can we just leave and go get a sandwich at Subway?  I love Subway."

Why, yes, Diego, we certainly can.
.

Special thanks to Julie, who invited us and lovingly helped me step outside my comfort zone.  


Friday, September 16, 2011

Those Who Can't Teach


Sunday, September 11, 2011

Teacher Tales: The Many Lies of Rodney


On the first day of school I knew Rodney was going to be a huge trial of my patience source of entertainment for me.  You see, he's one of those kids who tells tales.  TALL tales.  I mentioned in a previous post that in first grade, he stuck a corn nut in his ear and blamed it on the sweetest, quietest, most angelic boy on the planet.  Read on:


Mr. Show:  Rodney, you turned in your work without finishing it.  Look, you only did the first two problems.  What happened?

Rodney:  Well, I guess  I fell asleep at my desk, and while I was sleeping, a stranger came into the room and took my paper that wasn't finished and put it in the finished work basket.

Mr. Show:  Uh-huh.  Well you stay awake this time and go finish your work.

.

Mr. Show:  (speaking to the whole class)  Someone took Ben's Gushers.  He brought them for his snack, and now at recess he will have no snack.  Did anyone see who took them?

Rodney:  (raising his hand)  Yes, I think I did, Mr. Show.  When I was getting a drink, I looked over and saw a man in a dark cape take them and eat them.

Mr. Show:  Really?  How mysterious!  

Rodney:  Well, I know what you can do to see who stole them.  They were blue gushers and they get stuck in your teeth really bad.  Just walk around and look at everyone's teeth.  The one who stole the Gushers will have blue teeth.

Mr. Show:  If anyone has anything they'd like to tell me about it, you can tell me privately on the way to lunch.

Walking in line to lunch, several students told me that they saw Rodney with blue teeth.

I need to get a handle on this Rodney situation, don't you think?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Q & A With Your Token Gay: Homo Hodgepodge



This season of Q & A will focus on the ever popular meme.  I'll be picking and choosing from the many that are out there.  If you have a good one, point me in the right direction!

1. Using what's in your fridge right now what sort of meal would you be able to make for guests who are knocking at the front door this very minute?



If all else fails, mix the contents of the fridge with pasta.  Right now, it would turn out pretty good.  I have plenty of grilled veggies-- eggplant, zucchini, red peppers, onions, and potatoes.  I could saute them in olive oil for a minute, toss with pasta, and add parmesan.  Done!

2. What is something about yourself that you hope will change but that probably never will?

I want a more muscular body.  I know exactly what I need to do to get it, but I will probably never do anything about it.

3. What's something about yourself that you hope will never change?

I hope I will always remember the importance of a sense of humor and keep mine intact, until the day I die.

4. Do you usually send serious or funny greeting cards? Why?

Almost always funny, unless I'm giving it to Giancarlo.  I'm pretty sure he prefers serious.  I prefer funny.  And, the dirtier, the better.

5. Bird watching, shell gathering, or star gazing- your choice for whiling away the hours?

Star gazing, on a hot summer night.  Naked.  What?

6. Do you double or triple check things? If so, what?

Mainly it's my classroom door if I'm working on the weekend.  I'm terrified of leaving it unlocked and having vandals get in.  So I triple check it.  Once when I lock it.  Again after walk a few steps away, and again when I get to the bottom of the stairs.  I'm a freak.

7. What's your favorite place for people watching?

West Hollywood, or any place that gays gather en masse.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I'm starving!  But the grout man is downstairs in the kitchen and I would feel funny going down and getting something to eat with him right there.   I should probably offer him a sandwich.  Would you offer your grout man a sandwich?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Teacher Tales: A Shocking Revelation


This year I have an interesting group of characters!  There are a handful that stand out already; I foresee an abundance of  episodes of Teacher Tales this year.

While working on an assignment that involved writing down their birthdays, I had to help a few who did not remember theirs.  Most second graders know their birthdays.  However, there are always one or two in every group that don't remember.

Mr. Show:  Osvaldo, your birthday is May 8.  (Writing it down for him to copy.)

Osvaldo:  Again!?  That's what my birthday was last year!

Mr. Show:  Yep!  May 8th has been your birthday every year since you were born, and it will be your birthday for the rest of your life.

Rodney:  (Overhearing the conversation)  WHAT?!  You've GOT got to be kidding me!

Mr. Show:  (Turns away with a huge grin on his face.)