The Jason Show Goes Glamping!

It may shock you to learn that I hate camping.  Not that I've been real camping since I was a teenager, but the mere thought of it puts me on edge.  It just seems like a huge amount of work all so you can sleep on the ground and poop in brambles.  And all the dirt.  And lack of conveniences.  And so on.

Don't get me wrong.  I love nature.  I love to look at it, and to be in it.  I love fresh air and sunshine and the peace and beauty that nature has to offer. But I don't think God intended for us to sleep in it.  

Unless, that is. . .you go glamping.

Glamping is a word derived from "glamour" and "camping."  Glamping.

When you go glamping you sleep in a large, room-sized tent that has a wood floor and electricity.

 Your bed has been prepared for you with deep pillows, comfy mattresses, and crisp, fresh linens.

You get to spend time doing outdoorsy things, like playing frisbee and drinking Diet Coke.

When you go glamping, there are plenty of green, grassy open spaces that are painstakingly manicured.

If you are feint at heart and not as adventuresome as I am, you may choose to sleep in one of the available cabins with private baths and kitchenettes.

When you go glamping, you make sure that you take pictures of your co-glampers.

You take romantic walks on secluded trails. And when you get home, you photoshop the huge dark circles that were under your eyes in the picture of that romantic walk on that secluded trail.

Ahem.  Where were we?  Oh yes. . . all while listening to the babbling brook nearby.

When you go glamping, you feel giddy every time you approach the restroom facilities.

You marvel at the spaciousness of the accommodations, 

the hot, private shower,

the Earth-friendly, flushless urinals, 

and a toilet so clean you could eat off it.  If you wanted to.  

When you go glamping, you have a glamp fire that you build and light yourself.

You roast weenies.  And your son and his cousin take advantage of the opportunity to say "weenie" over and over again.

When you go glamping, you eat like a king.

Notice the Jiffy Pop and the Starburst roasting?

Almost as wonderful as the restroom accommodations, the glamping store sells a large assortment equipment and supplies that glampers might need, like fine wines.  I was indeed a happy camper.  That is, a happy glamper.

When you go glamping, you have a lot of laughs, perhaps with new friends.

And when it gets dark, you turn on the bedside lamp so you can read until you are overcome with delicious drowsiness and you fall asleep to cricket songs and hooting owls.

Good night.  Maybe next time, you can come glamping with The Jason Show, too.

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This episode of The Jason Show was filmed here.