What do you do when your twenty two year old child refuses to take responsibility for herself? What do you do when she takes advantage of you, uses you, and manipulates you because she knows you are willing to give her yet another chance to get herself pulled together? What do you do when she refuses to get a job and sits around all day long talking on the phone, playing Facebook games, and smoking pack after pack after pack of Camel Menthol Silvers? What do you do when she hoards half of the dishes from the kitchen in her room and on the balcony in spite of the times that you've asked her politely, and not so politely, to keep the dishes in the kitchen? What do you do when you discover that she packs her backpack with those dirty dishes in hopes of hiding them from you? What do you do when she refuses to take part in family activities, such as dinner? What do you do when, after weeks of suspecting it, find out without a doubt that she has been stealing money--hundreds of dollars--from your wallet and your desk? What do you do when this kind of behavior has been going on for ten years, when she's dragged you and the rest of the family to hell and back over and over and over again? What do you do when she tells you that she is moving to Kentucky to live with a man who is five months older than you, that she met online, but hasn't actually met in person?
You let her. That's what you do.
14 comments:
Yes. You do.
I was going to ask where she gets the money from the Camels, but you answered that already. Stealing is never, ever right.
But she's an adult, so you let her go. Sounds like she's making a terrible decision, but she seems to like the bad decisions. It's out of your hands.
I know it's hard, though.
xoxo
yes, you do have to let her leave.
I do hope she finally will learn her lesson and not the hardest way. Knowing you, you have done everything you can. Now, you have to wash your hands. And keep praying for her.
xoxoxo
I was actually going to say that it was time to tell her to leave. It's not fair to the rest of you
Jason I am so sorry. I know how painful it is when our children are struggling and acting out and hurting us, no matter their age. It sounds like something is very wrong within your girl, and I hope whatever it is- depression, bipolar, drugs, whatever it is- she can find help sooner rather than later. I'll say a prayer for you. xo
I love you. Always remember you are a great father.
holy cats, are you kidding?
And you keep on loving. Because love knows no bounds. Lots of kids are brats. Lots of kids are jerks. Lots of kids have issues. I think parents have to take some responsibility for the kids being jerks. And maybe we say, oh, but we NEVER condoned laziness, and smoking, and stealing...and truly, we have not. But have we taught them that they must get out there and make their way in the world. Have we supplied a proper family for them to grow up into? Have we given them boundaries? Lots of times we have not.
I hope she will get life figured out.
She is blessed to have a dad like you who will keep right on loving her no matter what.
No matter what.
Oh, Jason. I'm so sorry - my eyes sting with tears for all of you, for the love and caring that you have extended from your good heart to your precious girl, only to have her respond like this. The pain of it...the pain of you life experience and wisdom, facing her inexperience, and having to let her go. God bless all of your family, Jason, with Love large enough to enfold each one of you, wherever you go and whatever you do. Sending hugs from here.
"You let her. That's what you do."
Yep. That's exactly what you do. And you don't let her hurt or take advantage of your family anymore.
Good for you. I know it was (and probably still is) difficult for you to let her go but as you said, 'you let her'. And yes, you must. Because she is unconcerned about the effect her behavior has on the rest of the family.
My sister...my sister has gotten herself into some trouble recently. She's always been the one in the family with 'issues'. I fear I may have encouraged her addictive personality last night and didn't sleep a wink because of it. I wish I could slap her across the face and force her to grow up and take responsibility for her actions.
You absolutely do. You let her, and you love her.
You are a great dad.
An.
Absolutely.
Sensational.
Dad.
Oh my gosh. Big supportive hugs! It's such a difficult thing, but I agree...you let her.
I agree! Time to let her go and to make her own mistakes and figure out on her own what to do next. We all had to do this. This is life. And you are a good Dad.
It's heartbreaking but you have to do it.
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