The end of my rope. That's where I am.
I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. I've also learned that I'm weaker, more vulnerable, and more gullible than I thought I was.
The end of my rope. That's where I am.
I've learned that my family is resilient. We've made it through some unimaginably horrifying times. And we're still a family, albeit fractured in some places and wide-eyed with wariness. But we're resilient.
The end of my rope. That's where I've gotten.
I've learned that all of those times you've shaken your head in pity when hearing about people who go through great trauma with a child, that some day it just might be you.
The end of my rope. That's where I am.
I've learned that there is no limit to my love, but there is most certainly a limit to how much disrespect and abuse I can withstand from my own adult child. And I've learned that I have just now arrived at that limit.
The end of my rope. That's where I am.
I've learned that I'm not as good with people as I used to think I was. I once thought that my parenting skills were sound and strong. I've learned that they're not. I've learned that sometimes, no matter what I say or what I do or how much I give and give and give and give. . . it doesn't matter. It doesn't make a difference. It doesn't matter how many chances I give. It always gets thrown right back in my face, and then smeared around.
The end of my rope. That's where am.
I've learned that it is extremely difficult to treat your other children the way they need to be treated when you're at constant odds with another one of your children. I've learned that it is very difficult to treat your other children the way they need to be treated when you're in an ongoing battle with yourself in your mind about what will happen next, and when the other shoe will drop.
The end of my rope. That's where I am.
I've learned that when you suspect something unseemly is going on, it usually is.
The end of my rope. That's where I am.
I've learned that trying to get the truth out of one who lies pathologically is futile,and crazy making. I've learned to stop trying to make sense of the irrational. I've learned to stop being hopeful.
The end of my rope. That's where I am.
31 comments:
Hugs. Just, hugs xx
I'm so so so sorry.
I am so sorry Jason.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I hope whatever is going on isn't what I think.
There is always a way to repair and reconstruct the rope - if you want to.
Its not easy. Its easier to leave the rope severed but just know, it can be done.
You know I've been concerned about you for months now. And now this! What can I say to make you feel better.
m.
Aww sugar...I'm going to call you right now.
Even if you are at the end of your rope, you still have the rope, and that says a lot.
XOXO
Wish i could help
The end might NOT really be the end...I hope.
sending you good vibes...hoping that things DO get better.
xoxoxo
Tie a knot in the rope, and hang on for dear life! :) Sending good thoughts your way.
...sorry...
I wish words could provide comfort and answers.
I am a constant reader who never ever comments. I hope everything's okay ~ I hope that you figure out what needs to happen to fix things. And I hope the end of your rope isn't really the end of your rope!
XoXo
I assume this child is a teenager? My sincere hope that you can work things out and give the others the attention they deserve.
Thinking of you....
My thoughts are with you Jason. Can't purport to have experience with parenting, but I know things usually work out in the end. As hard as it seems, keep hope alive. Most times, it is all there is to hold on to.
So sorry. Chiming in to give you fortitude.
Oh no! We'll make it all better with wine tonight. Hang in there!
Hugs and prayers.
Hugs and prayers.
Hey there. You know everything I have to say... But I'll repeat the last part anyway. I'm here for anything you need. Hang in there, take a while to focus on yourself and GC and D and forget the rest as best as you can. Let me know if there is anything at all I can do. Love you.
Hugs and more hugs. Have been there, trust me!
Reached the end of my rope with my adult parent years ago and then I let go. Easier said than done but when it's done, you get to exhale.
I am so sorry, though.
This is so scary and so maddening. The only thing I can say to you is that I am super glad that I am in this with you as the other parent. We are in this together and whatever may come we live through it together. As horrible as it may be. She is her own adult self and we have zero control and even less influence it seems. So my thanks to Giancarlo and you for being the ones to front this one. Heaven knows I can't do it.
Sending you much support and love.
(((((((HUGS)))))
Sometime the best thing to do is let go of the rope, rest your hand, breath and grab on when you have the strength again!!
I'm so sorry. I was with my mother when she reached the end of her rope with my sister so I think I have an inkling of what you're going through.
I hope and pray you know you've done the best ANYONE could do, and you did not come to this place lightly.
There is simply no more frustrating feeling in the world than trying to reason with someone who is, for whatever reason, without reason. You can talk the good talk, walk the good walk, feel all good and happy that you got through....made a point...reached the aha! moment -only to find out they were faking and nothing has changed. Great parenting (and I'm sure that's what we're dealing with here) doesn't change the fact that sometimes you have no control over what the other person wants/needs to do to themselves. Sometimes you think your encounters are intersections of meaning, where you actually talked, communicated, - when in fact you were just running along on a parallel path - never really touching - shouting at the other person who was smiling politely back but unable to actually hear you. Probably none of that made any sense - I can't talk plain like a normal person - but so sorry for your angst and sadness and hoping for the best with your child.
Boundaries and Love Must Be Tough...two great books to help you deal with people who are bent on destroying themselves and as many people that love them as possible.
Keep holding on the end of the rope...this crisis will pass away and hopefully you can catch your before the next one.
They say that when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on for dear life. Lots of years of dealing with that child. So sorry it is not getting any better. {{{Hugs}}}
believe me, jason, i have been in your shoes. give it time, stick to your guns, and KNOW you are doing the right thing. no one, not even our beloved offspring, has the right to hurt or disrespect you IN ANY WAY. i will send good mojo your way.
if you dont stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
BTW i changed my blog addy, it's no-drama-for-da-mama@ blogspot.com..
dont forget me....
c
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