For the first ten years of my life, I heard my dad begin his prayers by saying, "Our Father HORT in heaven."
I idly wondered what HORT meant. I had heard people say "Our Father who art in heaven," which I understood. But at my young age I didn't make the connection that HORT actually meant who art, not even given the fact that he grew up in southern Idaho. (Aside: In southern Idaho, people often get their short a sound confused with their short o sound. For example, they pronounce the word fort as fart, Lord becomes Lard, and Mormon becomes Marmon. Don't ask me why.)
One Saturday morning over our typical pancakes, fried eggs, Sizzlean, and cherry Kool-Aid breakfast, I asked my dad, "Dad, what does HORT mean?"
He looked at my sideways. "What do you mean, HORT?"
"You know, when you pray, you say 'our Father HORT in heaven.' What does it mean?" I pressed.
He banged his fist down on the table and groaned loudly. Red Kool-Aid sloshed out of his glass. He thought I was making fun of him.
"Why is it that you always have to question my auth-ARE-ity?!?" he yelled. Then he smacked me up side the head. I think it was at that moment in time that I started hating breakfast. Especially pancake breakfast.
He sure showed me not to ask fresh questions, didn't he?
21 comments:
Okay, this post reminded me of a joke, which I will not tell here. If you'd like to read it, email me.
I don't like pancakes either. For different reasons.
'Hort'
::Snicker::
hahaha. that cracked me up. I can so hear it. What? I do live in Utah. :)
No kiddin! I don't like breakfast either, but that's just because it's too early in the morning to eat. I'm sorry he thought you were being fresh.
My son once asked me why we always said, "all men" at the end of prayers.
We love and encourage questions, fresh and otherwise.
I believe Father Hort likes them too.
Funny how dads are in that generation.
My dad would have done the same thing.
Maybe red KoolAid in the morning is why you hate breakfast.
You and I have a lot in common, my friend. More on the father side of things, less on the feelings about pancakes side of things.
I remember that day! I'm sorry you got hit across the head, but your question made me laugh. I always wondered if Dad thought everyone else was saying hort so that's what he said, or was it a result of a weird Idaho / Utah accent? We'll never know because we've learned to not question his "authority."
So sorry that happened to you.
That sounds like some Old Testament parenting for sure. I guess he didn't make you a Believer, did he?
Your Friend, m.
HA HA! Well, I don't think that S. Idaho gibberish is much different than here in Utah, although we snobbish Sugarhouse people like to think differently.
If my son asked me that, I'd be totally cracking up!
Man!
My mom once slapped me, though - she was getting ready to go out with my dad somewhere, and putting on makeup. I was sitting there, watching her, and said, "You look so pretty!", and my mom said, "Thank you!", and I said, "Yeah - like a hooker!", and she slapped me. I was like, 4 or 5! I didn't know what a hooker was, but they sure looked pretty to me, with all their makeup on cheesy 70's shows! (She did apologize and told me a hooker was not a nice thing.)
I still can't get past the pancakes, sizzlean and cherry kool-aid breakfast! Ewwwww.
When she was a little girl, a friend of mine had an Aunt Shirley, whom she was afraid of for one reason or another.
She once told her mother that she didn't want to go to church anymore. Her mother asked her why. And she said, "Because of the 23rd Psalm." Turns out she was terrified, because "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life" she heard, "Shirley, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." She was terrified that her Aunt Shirley was going to follow her for the rest of her life!!
Too funny!! :)
Kids have great ears, don't they? I can't recall an incident like this in my family, but I bet there were a few. My father had a strong Texas accent, and we lived in the North.
The only thing close for me was when I was and 7 or 8 and with my friend, and her big sisters had friends hanging out. They were saying what I thought was a cool variation on "shucks", so at some point at home, I said it. My dad was furious with me.
When I read this, all I could think about was Horton Hears a Who. Perhaps your Dad was channeling Dr. Seuss.
Do you watch CougarTown? Courteney Cox had a similar mishap with the Pledge of Allegiance: "...and to the republic. For Richard Sands."
Servers always ask my mother in law if she wants ranch or french dressing on her salad. She says, "rench". She can't understand why they never get her order correct. We don't smack her in the head, though. Not that I haven't thought about it. Daily.
Its the red koolaid. It made everyone crazy.
Instead of "amen" at the end of a prayer, my niece says "aw man"! It is quite the crowd pleaser:)
Sizzlean...another reason I don't like meat.
That's just ignernt!
That one made me s-nort!
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