Too Many Chiefs, Too Many Cooks

If I ever decide to write that book, I just might call it 

Too Many Chiefs, Too Many Cooks

Raising a Child in a Home with Six Adults Who All Think They're the Boss

Sometimes it gets really tricky.  Sometimes it gets really frustrating.  Our son behaves so much better when his two parents are the only adults in the house.  He has learned that each individual adult has their own way of acting, reacting, and interacting with him. He is becoming a master manipulator.  I know that kids often play this game between just their two parents, too, but when a parent is trying to get his child to do or not do certain things, and four other people chime in with their version of what needs to be done, it makes me crazy, let alone him!

It's bad enough when there are legitimate behavior/discipline issues to be dealt with, but when some of the non-parent adults decide to create more issues, and stir up more battles that the parents have perhaps chosen not to address at the current time, it can be highly overwhelming.

For instance:  One of the six adults in our house makes it their sacred duty to micromanage the way our son eats his meals.  True, he needs reminders to use his napkin and eat politely.  However, he does not need to be told what to eat next and when to eat it and he doesn't need to be told that he can't eat fruit before he finishes his bread, and isn't he going to eat more rice or another bite of meat and when will he have a sip of water, from the beginning of the meal to the blessed end.

Sometimes when he has been naughty and is being disciplined, other non-parent adults come along and make a big show about it, saying, "Oh, what's wrong, you poor little thing, come here, what do you want?"

There are several other similar examples.

We do voice our feelings on the subject from time to time.  Depending on the particular other adult that is being addressed, it may be received well or not so well, but it almost always goes forgotten.

I realize that I have made my bed.  I welcomed, even encouraged our living situation.  In most ways, it has worked out very well.  In some ways, not quite as much.

Sometimes we think we should get our own tepee.  Sometimes we think we should get out of the kitchen.  But after all is said and done, we agree that we need to put up with a few things, pick our battles, and work things out.  And that's what we do.