Friday, June 18, 2010

Stream of Consciousness Blogging: My Hermit Fantasy


It has been a thoroughly difficult couple of weeks on the set of The Jason Show.  It's been one thing.  And another.  And then another.  And then, yesterday, ANOTHER.

I would ask you all if you'd like to join me in a year of hermithood, but now that would just defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?  Pursuing my fantasy of of hermithood is something that I must accomplish alone.  Funny.  I just typed "fantnasty".  Freudian slip?  Maybe that's what I need: a fantnasty.

I love my family, each member, dearly.  But sometimes when you put them all together you come up with one great big ball of KrAzY!  Including me of course.  I like to think that I am the rock, the glue, the foundation of this family with which I have surrounded myself.  But in reality, I get the sneaky feeling that that I am no more solid and secure than any other one of them.  As my sister said the other day when discussing our father's paranoid schizophrenia, "What if we're both crazy right now too and we don't even know it?!"

What?  My father's schizophrenia?  Yep.  Surprise!  The cat's out of the bag.  That will be a WHOLE ENTIRE SEASON of The Jason Show when the writers can finally bring themselves to put it all down on paper.

My Corona is kicking in.  Ahhhhh.  Sweet, temporary relief.  Does that sound bad if I say that?

39 comments:

Life with Kaishon said...

:( I am so sad the Jason Show set and cast is having a difficult end to the season! Especially when it is summer time and it is time for fun and happiness! Will keep you in my prayers! Sending much love Jason!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Did I ever tell you about my schizophrenic grandmother? We can compare notes.

smalltownmom said...

Well, I think I am the rock in my family. But the rock always needs a break, or else it will crack.

Hang on, and reach out.

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

A fantnasty... why not? I think that could be your DJ name. (Porn name?)

I hope your weekend is swell.

xoxo

Ami said...

:::uploading a few items to help you with your fantnasty:::

Sandi said...

Hang in there Jason. Lets lunch as soon as we can, and then you can hermit.

Caroline said...

Awww...it will be OK...promise. I had the craziest week...sheesh. But the wine is kicking in now too :) Cheers and go have that fantnasty ;)
xoxo

Lacking Productivity said...

I think we all harbor at least a little crazy. Paul and I were actually talking about that last night and today, our own mental illnesses of a sort, and your dad's came up too.

The thing about mental illness is that we don't really know our own crazy, because we can totally justify our own thoughts, but we see everybody else's, which makes the whole thing more illusive and more frustrating.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I love you so much. What's a family with out a big dose of crazy spread around? I'm with Sandi ... let's get that lunch scheduled. I'll have a corona with you!

C said...

awww honey! this will all pass... have another beer!

;)

family drama can be crazy, i have some for dinner at least twice a week! sometimes EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.!

sometimes you just need to get away and have a spa day to yourself. get pampered, have your fave food for lunch, go and get lost in a good movie... and hold your own hand in the dark..

thats what i do.

c

American in Bath said...

Did I ever tell you about my schizophrenic housemate? They're all over the place even hiding inside our own families. There's help now that doesn't suck like it once did. And, wow, you must be in complete shock. Thoughts are with The Jason Show.

Mamma has spoken said...

Your feelings are normal, enjoy another Corona. In a month or two or three, it will all pass and you'll look back and learn from the experince. Lord knows I have gone through this way too many times....

sybil law said...

I think you need about four temporary reliefs.
I have definitely been there, and so I hope you manage to make it through the crazy with grace, humility and laughter. The Corona definitely helps.
Oh - and so does fantnasty.
xoxo

Busy Bee Suz said...

Even the rock of the family needs a flippin' break on occasion.
Sorry things have been bad, I DO hope it gets better.
Hugs, Suz

Tracey Axnick said...

Things will get better.
Deep breaths and "mas cerveza"! (but not TOO much cerveza....)

I too have fantasies about taking out everyone's "batteries" and leaving them immobile - just for awhile - just so I can catch my breath.... and then we can resume Real Life.

Hang in there.

ChiTown Girl said...

Aw, sweetheart, I feel for you right now. At least school is out for a while, so that's one less ball you'll have to keep up in the air. (tee hee, I said ball...) I say have another Corona, take some deep breaths, and just clear your mind. You'll work through this the same as every other drama/trauma/crisis you've dealt with - like a champion!!

TechnoBabe said...

Hi Jason, you are being handed a load right now, huh. I hope things get easier for your family. Living with my hubby who has bipolar disorder I can sympathize with the pain you as a family endure.

Hula Girl at Heart said...

Is there a full moon and no one told me? It's just been a terrible week for everyone I know. Take a sip of Corona and repeat after me..."This too shall pass, this too shall pass."

I feel your pain, brother.

Maria said...

I used to crave hermitude. Now, I would LOVE a little chaos. Grass is always greener and all that shit.

SabrinaT said...

((((((JASON)))))

My family is totally nut ball crazy! Hence the reason we live in Japan.

I tell Ian all the time when I go crazy I don't want to know I am. Just set me in a room and feed me green jello!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!! Hope you have a good weekend. Maybe try out your hermit hood for the next few days!

Martha said...

Corona with a shot of Patron tequila would be even more medicinal. Here's a ((HUG)) too. So sorry for the craziness. I am hoping you and your family had some Rest and Relaxation coming your way.
Happy Father's Day to you and your husband.

Life with Kaishon said...

Happy Fathers Day to the one and only Jason and his fabulous Show! XO

Lori said...

Just have to stop by and say Happy fathers Day to a stand up guy who is a wonderful father. Please pass on a Happy Fathers Day to Giancarlo as well. I hope you and yours have a wonderful day! XX

jlo said...

Why? Why? Why does this always happen at summer? Will seeing me in a bathing suit help? You own your crazy so, it's not so crazy. I want a drunk post. That will be good.

Grandma J said...

Happy Father's Day, Jason.

Oreos and ice cream do it for me.

Your CrAzY friend, Grandma J

yogurt said...

If you had typed famnasty, I would have been officially, professionally worried. Looking forward to future installments. And as for the Corona? No other words would fit better. Pass the lime, please.

QCEVO said...

Fantnasty. What a great alter ego name. I'm hearing Janet Jackson's Nasty as theme music....

I'm not a prude, I just want some respect

So close the door if you want me to respond

Cause privacy is my middle name (NOT)

My last name is control

No, my first name ain't baby,

It's Jason... FantNasty if you're nasty




Nasty boys don't mean a thing

Oh you nasty boys don't mean a thing to me

Nasty... don't mean a thing

Oh you nasty boys

(I like this part)



Hey! Who's that thinkin' nasty thoughts? Nasty boys!

Who's that in that nasty car? Nasty boys!

Who's that eatin' that nasty fruit? Nasty boys!

Who's jammin' to my nasty groove? Nasty boys!



Ladies? Nasty boys don't mean a thing

Oh you nasty boys
My names not Jason, it's Fantnasy if you're nasty.

Vancouver Isle Doug said...

Corona induced relief is acceptable. Lately mine has been a mix of OJ and rum. Sure helps me sleep!! Just not making it a habit. Now I have a yen for a Cosmo. Sigh...

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Sometimes alcoholic beverages are essential! Don't feel bad.

Kelly said...

Big continued hugs Jason.

thegayte-keeper said...

I can ONLY imagine how you must feel...hang in there...somewhere!

Sardine Mama said...

I want to be a hermit SO BADLY. Really really really badly. But instead of a soccer ball named Wilson, I will have Jason as my hermit roommate with the understanding that although we are hermits, we the kind who are occasionally prone to socializing with other hermits.

Schizophrenia? How about Early Onset Alzheimer's? That's what we got runnin' over here. Any Day Now. So we shall be perfect roommates. And what the heck, let's bring our soccer balls. Or was Wilson a basket ball?

SoccerMom said...

Im so sorry to hear. As for being the rock all the time, its ok to sometimes let someone else step in and give you a break.

Mark said...

Life is hard sometimes. I muddle through by making lite of it. It's either that or go totally insane. Give it a try. I think you'll like it.
But booze helps too.
Your Friend, m.

Jabacue said...

Yes indeedy doo....it may be time for some relief....like a retreat of some sort for the weekend. Possible?
Don't be fretting about getting what your father has.....a waste of time. My mom had her difficulties all our lives and we spent too much time worrying about 'getting' what she had. We didn't.

Mr. Stupid said...

Hang in there, Jason. Take Care:)

Grand Pooba said...

I think everyone could use a fantnasty.

I know I could.

Hang in there Jas! (That's pronounced Jace but since your name isn't spelled Jacen, I went with Jas. whatever)

HI wish I could come over and we could talk over a few coronas!

Sending e-hugs!

Midlife Mama said...

Yup we've got a big pocketful of crazy in my family too but you mean LITERALLY crazy..er.. well I guess it's not PC to call it "crazy" per se... more like mentally ill. Yeah cause that makes a difference (eye roll).

I am sooooo with you on the hermit thing. I deal with people all-the-frickin'-day long and on the weekeends, sometimes I don't leave the apartment? Is THAT wrong??

And hell to the no with Coronas being wrong. That is the rightest thing evah! LOL Hang in there Jason, you've got so many people on this blog and in RL to help you though. You are SO lucky to have Gian by your side.

foolery said...

I suspect the Corona was the temporary relief, but just typing this aloud was the first step toward long-term relief. At least that's how it is for me, when I set something troublesome down on my blog.

And you cannot begin your hermitude until I have met you in person and had a temporary relief or two with you. ; )

Hang in there my Bloggywood friend!