I'm worried that I'm a worrier. Like many people, when something isn't right in my life, I worry about it. And believe me, there have been some biggies. However, right now, things are going pretty well. It has been a calm summer, and overall, there is relatively little to worry about. So one would think that I wouldn't be worried. But I wake up in the night and worry. I worry about inconsequential things like student desk arrangements or whether the fountain in our side yard needs water. Then the "what ifs" begin, which lead me to thinking about vague worst case scenarios. Then my mind starts to spin around on itself, and I realize I shouldn't worry because things are going well enough. But then I worry about worrying. I worry that I worry too much. I worry that I'm not worrying. Or I worry that there isn't anything to worry about because maybe something bad is going to happen soon and then I'll really have something to worry about!
What is this strange human emotion, worry? Is it just like our other emotions, happiness, sadness, fear, excitement, boredom--our feelings just are and there really aren't a whole lot of things we can do to keep from feeling them, and we should just let them be?
I don't worry about the things I can control. But the things that are out of my control? I worry about those things.
What do you worry about?
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45 comments:
I worry about way too many things, Big F reminds me about it all the time.
peace
#2
I worry about my kids dying in car accidents. That is my number one worry--I'm so not a "that could never happen to me" person. Also, I think that is what I worry about instead of worrying about the myriad of other things I could worry about.
Welcome to my world......if you find out how to change it, you should let the world know. I worry about stupid work things and when I go to bed, will lie there thinking about what's on my desk (sometimes for over an hour or two). That and if my 401k will ever allow me to retire before I die.
I worry about being late or not remembering to do something or get something. But I have been learning how to accept things and let it go in a way that I would have LOVED to know when I was younger. You say you are worried about being worried, but I get what you are saying. When things are going smoothly, there is a nagging itch that wants to be scratched, the this won't last forever itch.
I'm worried that you're worried that you're a worrier!!! ;-)
(plus I'm a little worried that I'll have 35+ kids sitting in front of me on Monday! Oh joy!)
I worry about something/someone for so long that I will worry all the flavor out of it..
My current worry is where I will live in a month. Will my oldest son get his Language class if we have to move so close to school starting? Will my husband make it through the next 5 weeks?
I tend to over worry, I wonder why we do that? A long time ago in one of my Psych classes I learned that people who have had traumatic or life shifting moments in their lives tend to have the "other shoe dropping" syndrome. Great, now I get to worry that I have some syndrome.. See what happens!! It's a cycle..
I have "the other shoe dropping" syndrome.
Well... I'm thinking I should be kinda worried about you.
Only I'm busy worrying about other stuff. Like paying for college for the kids, and world peace, and world hunger, and my own mental instability.
But I'm worried about you now, too.
So it's all good. :)
Ah, such are the things that caused this alcoholic to drink. Simple answer, do what is in front of you to do attentively and with love. Will the kids have a better situation with an over-tired, grouchy teacher and a good seating arrangement, or a well rested teacher winging it? Will Diego benefit from a dad who is half there and half in a future that may or may not happen? Then he only gets half of you. Relax. And when the times are going good, FFS be grateful! The hard times are going to come, I promise! (Usually not in the way you worried about so you won't be prepared anyways.) Quit letting it take your good times away from you! You earned those good times!
Ann H. is a very wise woman.
I worry about stupid things when there is something big going on, not the big thing...and I worry when I have had too much caffeine too late in the day....twitch twitch twitch at night, leads to worry I guess cause there's nothing else for my brain to do. I cut out the coffee and tea for a couple of days, and it usually stops.
OMFG! I was JUST worrying that I was worrying too much. Dude! that's creepy!
I also worry. I have to touch the outside of the plane when I get on it. For some reason, if I do that, I think it keeps me safe (and I also pray just in case). Along those lines, tonight I was worried that I thought I had forgotten to pray for a long long time and that because I did that the world was going to end and I'd be all shit out of luck. Not to worry though, I quickly prayed. We're all good again.
I'll let you know the next time I forget so you can prepare.
We should both sign up for therapy. I kinda think that is not right.
It is HARD to just stop worrying. Maybe you should think about the worst case scenario and how you can solve it. Since you CAN solve the worst problem, then you should quit worrying.
You are welcome.
Hmmmm, nothing. :)
At one time, I worried about EVERYTHING and I mean everything. Now, although I do worry about the normal things that mom's worry about, I don't worry so much. Maybe I have learned to let go of things easier? I do think I go through periods of worrying more than other times...usually I find that when I am feeling insecure I worry more. Mostly, I worry about the things I have no control over too. Worrying sucks!
I think I'd be worried if you didn't worry at all... :) My hubby is a huge worrier, as is the Princess Nagger, always playing devil's advocate. I'm the one that always looks on the bright side, sees the silver lining in every cloud - so they keep me grounded and I keep them looking at the positives.
But I still do worry - mostly about the Princess Nagger and wanting to make sure she grows up healthy and happy. :)
Don't worry. Be happy.
Also? Who is Ann H.? She's smart.
Jason, I am afraid of EVERYTHING :)
I worry about everything. And then I worry that I'm making myself sick from all the worrying. And then I'm positive that ache/pain/none-existent thing is cancer. Yes, I go straight to the biggies.
Worrying without a focus = anxiety according to Pysch.101. I think you have alot stuff on your plate and this is like the leftovers spilling over. I hope it lessens soon. A technique I've used is to schedule worry time, allot myself 10 minutes or whatever to worry about a subject and then I mentally close the topic until tomorrow. So much of it all is letting go. Take care, J.
Oh, geez. WHen my daughter was born, I worried about every. single. little. thing. But crazy things, like, if it was raining, a tree might fall on her room from lightning hitting it! The usual worries, too, like, what if she stops breathing? If I heard a noise, clearly, someone was trying to kidnap her!
It was insane.
My doctor gave me some generic Xanax, and that crap was the only reason I got sleep the first year of her life. Didn't turn me into a zombie, either. It just quieted my brain so I could drift off to sleep.
Now I use Bendryl.
Clearly I have anxiety issues!
...if I will ever get to blog again- and if the ulcer created by it will heal with Zantex.
lMnop
Wow, you surely touched a nerve here, huh?
I too seem to peek in my worrying late at night when I should be sleeping. The bills, the blog, my whole life....AAAhh!
I usually turn on the light and make a list. A stupid little trick I play on my mind that often helps. Like I think because I wrote it down, I don't have to dwell on it right now.
I think I worry less the older I get, because I see most of it is for naught.
I worry a lot too. I think this is a syndrome that many of experience. I think it shows we care... but I also know that most of the things I worry about - I have no control over. And maybe that is the key to the worry... I can't control it - I can't make it have the outcome that I want - so I worry about and think that if I could only make this this and this happen - then everything would be OK.
Hmm.. maybe I should be worried that I am self diagnosing... I'm not really a Psychologist- I just play one on TV.
I'm a big worrier too. I kind of move from worry to worry. Nothing sticks, but there is always something.
I worry about every little freaking thing. EVERYTHING. I'm a world class worrier. Give me a call and we can compare our worries. I betcha I have more.
If there's nothing to worry about . . . I worry that there's something really going on that I forgot about or am currently unaware of and that by the time I figure it out, it'll be so bad that worrying won't help.
Yes, I'm a psychotic worrier.
I'm a total worrier. I worry a lot about things I have no control over, and things that may not even happen (the what-ifs). The new thing I tell myself almost constantly is "don't borrow worry." There are plenty of things to worry about in the here and now, and I don't need to worry about things out of my control or things that may never transpire. Sometimes (most times) it's easier said than done, but I'm trying to worry less.
-Stephany
I'm so lucky I am not a worrier. I believe my mother does enough for both of us. And now my son may have the gene as well...
I worry all the time. Gary gets so mad at me. And the crazy thing is, of course I know that worrying only causes more stress, but I worry anyway.
There are some good verses about worry:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is life not more important than food and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life.
Matthew 6:25-27 New International Version
or this one:
So do not worry about tomorrow;
for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34 New American Standard Bible
What version of the Bible do the Mormons use? You probably know these verse all ready.
I hope they help a little bit.
All the above - that's what I worry about. Great minds!!
Okay, total honesty here. I have a terrible phobia about puking, so it's something that I worry about CONSTANTLY. Not just me getting sick, but the kids, anyone around me. Sometimes I freak out if I find out someone in my family is sick, and makes no difference that they live over an hour away. I'm a FREAK!
Justine :o 0
I worry that I'm not a good enough parent.
I worry that I won't find a place to live for a few months while my work comp case settles (or longer).
I worry that my kids will hate me for a million and four reasons, amongst them "not being a good enough parent" as stated before.
I worry that I won't be able to make my little business fly.
I worry that I'll remain a fat, old, single broad forever.
I worry that I'll never be good enough...for...whatever...whomever...forever.
You know, just the normal shit.
I'm not a worrier. Yay!
My mother was a constant, obsessive, worrier and I absolutely hated her for it when I was a teenager. Now I am her and I hate myself for it.
hi jason... i only worry about one thing and that's that i will die before my daughter is old enough to remember me clearly. not sure what age that is but i know my niece was 11 when my dad died and now in her mid twenties, she really has no recollection of him. other than that, i have practiced not worrying for so long that i've gotten pretty good at it. if it is something that really is detrimental to your life, like not being able to sleep there is a very helpful book. i'm embarrassed to say it was one of oprah's choices. i wouldn't read it for the longest time for that reason alone as i don't consider myself an oprah automaton. but my best friend succumbed and said it was great and i should read it... it's "a new earth" by eckard tolle. i hope you're not chuckling at me. or should i say, don't worry, it's ok if you chuckle.
Most people I know wake up worrying about something. Usually it is something that is out of their control, but sometimes it is within that circle of control.
Anyway, those who don't take sleep medication so they don't wake up and worry.
Want some drugs?
I'm worrying that we were separated at birth, and that we would have never known we were related had you not mentioned this disorder on your blog;)
I usually just drink a lot of wine before bed...it makes it easier to fall asleep!
IS WONDERING THE SAME AS WORRYING?
i say go with it. worry about stuff. but go all the way out. play what if until the very end. i try not to spin the same thing over and over. what if i lose my job, what if i lose my job, what if i lose my job. it's easier to go, okay, if i lose my job, then i'll look for a new one and US Bank will probably call a lot about my car payment, and i might have to take a worse job and move into a smaller place, and maybe move back to colordo and live with my parents, and then my dad will drive me nuts when i don't park my car in the right place or drink the last of the orange juice and that might cause significant anxiety in my life and then i can go to the doctor and he'll prescribe valium.
i can live with that. just try to work your worries around to a valium prescription maybe.
I'm not usually a worrier. But then I worry that I'm not worrying about something and that leads to denial and not find a solution to the problem. And that makes me feel like I am like our parents. And that really makes me worry!
Everything. But right now, the #1 is "Will Mr. Hot get over his passive-agressive commenting about the move to Chicago before I say something that we'll both regret?"
I think that sums it up. Again, something I have no control over.
I have kind of a split personality. At times I worry obsessively and then other times I will just stick my head in the sand and do my Scarlett O'hara act, "I'll worry about that another day."
OK, here's my serious comment entitled "How I Conquered Worry". (I realize this sounds like a Dale Carnegie booklet, but this TRULY worked for me.)
I got a small little wooden box. What I would then do was take my worries, write them down on a slip of paper (one worry per slip), pray about them, and fold them up and put them in the box. SHUT the box, then NOT WORRY OVER IT.
Sound simplistic? YES. Did it work? At first NO. However, after several days, it started working.
Then after a couple of months, I went back to look in the box and the things I was worried about seemed so trivial and silly.
I've used this system time and again and it really has worked for me. Once you see how few of your worries come to pass, each future worry will seem much less daunting.
The key is praying over the worries in the box, then putting it on a shelf and making a conscious effort that the worries are "in the box and out of mind".
Worked for me.
I'm actually afraid to write my worries. As if if in doing so, they will manifest. I even worry when I THINK about my worries, the real ones, because again... manifest.
I worry I've watched, "The Secret," too many times.
:)
And seriously? Desk configurations? Are a HUGE worry for me. Every single day.
There.
I said it.
Truly.
If you ever find the perfect one, I'll pay you to ease my fretting mind.
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