Teacher burnout. There. I said it. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I can't think of any other profession I would rather have, except for being a powerful, yet kind CEO of a huge, successful company.
Teacher burnout. If I were a powerful CEO of a huge, successful company, this would enable me to travel the world on my expense account, and more importantly, allow me my own private bathroom in my private corner office. My own private bathroom with a trustworthy exhaust fan. Yes, my own private bathroom that I could use whenever I wanted, not just before 8:09, at 9:50, 12:30, and 2:40.
Teacher burnout. If I were a powerful CEO of a huge, successful company, then I wouldn't have to talk when I didn't feel like it. I could just tell my hot male secretary that I wasn't to be disturbed and sit there quietly in my comfy desk chair enjoying the quiet. And someone else would take care of any employee discipline issues for me.
Teacher burnout. Speaking of my hot male secretary, he would hand me my coffee, just the way I like it, as I saunter in each morning. He would know that after about 20 minutes I would like one more cup, and then bring me fresh cold water periodically throughout the day.
Teacher burnout. If I were a powerful CEO, I could come home at the end of the day without that guilt-inducing inner recoil that occurs when I need to deal with my own children. I would be okay if I had to repeat myself with them and answer their countless, endless, infinite stream of questions that I so adore, yet avoid all at once.
Teacher burnout. If I were a powerful CEO, my hot male secretary, or other employees, would accomplish the menial tasks that I don't enjoy, such as the paperwork and scheduling. I would do the important things. Unless I didn't want to. And then I wouldn't. Someone else would do them for me.
Teacher burnout. If I were a powerful CEO, the thing that I would enjoy most besides my comfortable paycheck and giving other people raises, would be choosing the charitable organizations to which I would contribute, and whose worthy cause I would sponsor.
Teacher burnout. If I were a powerful CEO, I wouldn't get lots of hugs and quirky little gifts and drawings. I wouldn't get to watch the transformation as a child transitions from being a non-reader to a sound reader. I wouldn't be able to tell the corniest jokes in the world and have everyone laugh without rolling their eyes. I wouldn't get to look struggling mothers and fathers in the eye as they thank me with all sincerity for helping their child.
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But I still want my own frickin' bathroom to use whenever I dern well please.
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30 comments:
Well, the bathroom and the expense count for travel.
(Love the teaching, though!)
Are you in one room all day? Why not put up a screen and a porta potty behind the screen? There, problem solved. Now, what is the next one?
I can see your point very clearly here. You want a hot secretary and a private toilet.
Have you tried teaching in a private school????
;)
Kidding, the world needs teachers JUST like YOU in it!!!!
I'm married to a corporate executive. Trust me ... keep teaching!
Amen, sister! Especially need the private bathroom after a ginormous coffee and a cabbage salad! Sheesh!
I saw the cutest Dora Explorer porta-potty at Target....you can call it "your own".
Can't help on the hot secretary issue.
No kidding, huh?
I should not be reading this after a) just beginning the teaching profession and b) suggesting that we delay leaving for our hike this morning until everyone had a chance to (ahem) digest the large breakfast I'd prepared.
This was brilliant.
Thank you for making a difference. I know that you do every year and I am so thankful for that! So, so thankful!
I will write to your school district and see if they can put in a private bathroom for you! I am pretty sure they will not give you a hot male secretary. I will request that for you too though, why not? : )
If you were a powerful CEO would you mind having your hot male secretary massage my shoulders wearing eyeliner? Thanks much.
You and I want the same bathroom!
Beloved is the CEO of a small, successful company. He works harder and longer hours than anyone I know.
Oh, and he has to share the bathroom. Both at the office and at home, and he has no hot secretary of any gender. Just me.
Sorry to rain on your parade!
I retired from teaching at age 31. You foget the whole bathroom thing....
Love this post!
I don't really consider myself retired, but that bathroom thing sure contributed to the burnout factor in my leaving elementary education for good.
If you were a powerful CEO your life would not be your own; you would be on call 24/7 and have precious little time to spend all that dough.
On the other hand, you Would have that great bathroom and the all important right to use it whenever you wished. As long as you had a speaker phone installed.
Besides, teachers, as you well know, rock. Period.
I love teachers! Some of my favorite people are teachers!
Although, I totally get the bathroom issue/wish!
Yeah, it's all about the private potty time. I hear ya. Oh, and the hot male secretary. Can't get that in the school system, can ya?
Justine :o )
Amen, my brutha, amen!!!
You have such a way with words!!
Can you send me your e-mail address? I have something to share that probably does not need to go here.
Thanks, Ann
atopham@sisna.com
Awesome.
But y'know, they do make Depends...
Snirk.
Even in administration, you don't get your own private bathroom. I share mine with the office staff and others. Oh, well. It is a great dream.
I thought all men just held it until they got home. Maybe you should try that! I want a hot male housekeeper. He would keep my toilets clean.
About three times a year I get to play teacher at local schools, teaching science lessons to kids. It always leaves me grateful for the fact my real job allows me to go pee any time I want...in an adult bathroom.
Awwww, you love those little buggers! I want to saunter in somewhere too. *sigh*
Oh JLO! That is just rank!
After a meal like that you deserve your own private bathroom, preferably in a nuclear shelter.
Save the world from your a-bomb.
Awww, I loved that last line. There's a quote that I'm going to butcher, "Teachers are like candles -- they consume themselves to light the way for others." Something like that. In short, it means you're awesome.
Other than the bathroom breaks and the water brought by the hot male secretary, I'd rather be a burnout.
By the way, is it of any significance that my verification word for this post is "outbut"?
I want to give all teachers a hug!
My dad is a teacher, and he the tales I hear break my heart. They canceled all substitute teachers in his district, so now the other teachers have to teach absent teachers classes on their open periods... This means that teachers are coming to school half dead to avoid having to put out their whole department.
Hang in there! Parents appreciate it!!
Agh. I am so with you on your own bathroom thing. Yes. If I were rich and such, I'd have a ginormous bathroom just for myself. With a infinity spa tub, a giant shower, sauna.... Ahhhh. I'd never come out of there. LOL
I surely do get the whole bathroom thing cause I find myself lucky if I get to go in there all by myself or without someone banging on the door and talking to me...ugh. I need to find a different hiding place...lol.
As far as the hot secretary goes...I think I need one of those too...or maybe that's called a nanny or a housekeeper....lol.
You already know I admire you for the teacher that you. I think it's great you do what you do but it's a job that is endless and you give out so much that it can leave you empty. I also understand burning out...I hope you get filled back up...take some time for yourself...be good to yourself Jason! Hugs, Lori
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