If I were in charge of the world
I'd cancel traffic,
Getting up in the dark,
Arguments,
and also Shirley Phelps-Roper.
.
If I were in charge of the world
There'd be food in every tummy,
Minds free of anxiety,
and a giant pause button you could push whenever you wish.
.
If I were in charge of the world
You wouldn't have earthquakes.
You wouldn't have violence.
You wouldn't have to shave.
Or "Your mom has cancer."
There wouldn't even be cancer.
.
If I were in charge of the world
Your dad would never have thought he was the Messiah,
All fruitcake would be fries with catsup,
And a person who loses the human perspective,
Pushing their own ideals down the throats of others,
Would not be allowed to be In Charge of the World.
.
Adapted by Jason
from Judith Viorst
45 comments:
Sounds good to me. I vote JASON as supremely in charge of the world.
Can I be your second in command? I have a few ideas myself.
As I just commented on another blog, I would tax to death any (hetero) man who had relations with a woman young enough to be his daughter, and give tax breaks to any man dating a woman over the age of 40. I’d give him a free ride if she is at least 30 pounds overweight.
*shrugs* Works for me.
You know something, this is one of my absolute favorite blogs. ABSOLUTE favorite.
And the chick named Shirley? Perhaps one day she will be in the emergency room and be saved by a gay doctor. And see the light.
Or maybe one day she will choke on her own hatred and drown in a pool of pathetic sorrow.
Now I wish I didn't click on Shirley's name....that just boils my blood! Like I teach my kinders, everyone has a right to believe what they want but don't push it on others!
Happy Earth Day!
Gary!!! I thought my blog was your favorite.
We were talking about me, right?
:-)
If you were in charge of the world, Jason, it would be a better place.
Very Glad-ish of you. And perfect. Just perfect.
If I were in charge, I would immediately assign you to be In Charge!
I like it. Except that would be fries with fry sauce.
Here here! (Especially the no cancer part!).
Where do I cast my vote?
So, will your name be on the ballot running in 2012? Because dude? I'm so there.
i also wish i hadn't clicked on that link. she'll get hers, that's all i know.
you're a gem.
Your cancellation of the horribles and honoring of the greats would immediately cause me to push the giant pause button once or twice in order to just enjoy my carefree mind. And my fries would have a lot of salt and vinegar.
Now I want to find out more about Judith Viorst. (And less about Shirley Phelps-Roper.)
Oh! Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!
Yea!
Yikes! I don't know who that woman is, but why hasn't she been punched in the nose yet? (I really wanted to say shot in the head yet but I knew that would get me in trouble).
My word verification is ballsist...are you a ballsist Jason?
Are you saying I'm getting demoted?
I love this. I wish you were in charge of the world. When is the vote???
That Shriley person? lets send her elsewhere....ok?
I like your world. Keep dreaming and working for it, and it may become a reality.
That woman? I'd never heard of her, and she is scary. Who starts a sentence with "God hates..."? That sounds like an oxymoron, to me. Yeah, I said oxyMORON.
I wish I wouldn't have clicked on that womans name. That is just plain nasty and I believe that things like that make the God I know very sad.
You have my vote!
Where do I sign up to put you in charge?
You definitely get my vote. And Jan, you get my vote for 2nd in Command! I love those!
Mmmm...that would be an amazing world, wouldn't it? Happy Earth Day! And I'll dream of your world tonight.
I'd vote for you - but I kinda want to be in charge too, so if we made some kind of power sharing deal - I'd take care of Shirley for you.
I'm just sayin..I know people.
That sounds pretty darn good to me! Although, along with those fries and ketchup, I would love some mayo.
where do i vote?
C
If I were in charge of the world... I'd delegate everything to you. :)
I just assumed you were in charge of the world.
*applause*
Ack that woman's two remaining brain cells must be having a nap in a dark corner, she's obviously a simpleton.
If I were in charge of the world she would be in a cage in a zoo somewhere with a big "ENDANGERED SPECIES" sign above her head. I'll put glass barriers in place in case she still feels the need to fling her shit at onlookers.
I had never heard of that woman, but GEEZ, talk about someone with a bug up her ass. Also pretty presumptuous of her to claim to know what's going on in God's head. How about a sign that says, "God hates presumptuous asshats." Also, I thought "God is love." Where's THAT sign?
That Phelps family is just disgusting.
You have to read about one of the sons who got away though. Nate Phelps tells an amazing story. He's still recovering from a childhood of terrible abuse and could use some love:
http://lifewithoutfaith.com/?p=120
Awesome!
Amen brother. Times 2 for cancer and fruitcake!
Also, I must share with you:
http://www.sisterdottie.com
Jason for President!
Beautiful, Jason!
Justine :o )
Agreed! Wholeheartedly!
Dude, you have my vote!
I, hereby, decree that Jason is in charge of the world!!
You've got my vote.
I don't know who is acting like they are in charge of the world that shouldn't be. I wish I was brighter : ).
Love the adaption though-even though I don't get it. XO : )
All fruitcake would be fries. Classic.
Bravo.
JASON, I love your blog! You should apply for a job as a DODDS teacher. Come teach in Sasebo..
JASON for PRES!!
ha, ha, my word verification is bowigmac. SO, does this mean there will be burgers with our fries and ketchup?
fries with ketchup, heavily salted!
Oh wait, scratch out the squirrel one, I meant to choose spend a day with Jason, 'cause I really just loved that one. Well put together. But the squirrel story is the best. Am I making any sense?
What a wonderful adaptation. I am going back thru the ones we have to vote on and reading them. Some I have read before. It's always good to read your wisdom twice though... : ). Happy Memorial Day Jason!
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