1. If you do not close all blinds and drapes at night, it is 100% guaranteed that your house will be robbed.
2. All sicknesses enter through the feet. Therefore, if your bare feet ever touch the floor, you will become sick.
3. Temperatures cause illness, not germs.
4. It is perfectly okay to leave food out on the counter all day. It will not begin to spoil.
5. Spanking is the best way to discipline.
6. Calling your child names as a form of discipline is the most effective way to discipline, next to spanking.
7. Temperatures below 75 are freezing cold, and you should complain about it incessantly to everyone you see.
8. Temperatures above 76 are unbearably hot and you should complain about it incessantly to everyone you see.
9. If you use the bathroom with the door closed, you might die in there and nobody will be able to get to you.
10. If you take a bath or shower while you are sick, it will cause your illness to grow into something life threatening.
11. It is medically necessary to eat at least four pieces of white bread with each meal.
12. If it is below 90 degrees outside, you must take a jacket, or you will catch cold.
13. Putting your child on time-out is hideous child abuse.
14. One small glass of water per day is "a lot of water."
15. If you are over 70, anything you say or do is acceptable and justifiable.