Because my readers asked for it. . .
.It has taken years of therapy to bring me to the point where I am today. For years I was unable to think about this particularly dark portion of my life; in fact I’m certain I have several repressed memories that still need to be addressed. Unfinished business. You see, for a brief period of time in my life, I was, well, I’m not sure I can say it. Let me take a deep breath. In…out……ahhhh. Okay. Let’s try this again. I was a clo—clo—clogger. A clogger. There. I said it. Do you think any less of me now?
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Wipe that smile off your face. It’s not funny. It’s not like I woke up one morning and said, “Hey, I think I’d like to be a clogger.” Nobody ever plans to be a clogger. I kind of fell into it. With some unwise friendship choices I slipped slowly down the slope of self-respect, gradually turning my back to the world of sanity, embracing a sordid world of sweat, loud, twangy blue-grass music, fake smiles, and cheesy costumes.
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My high school actually had a clogging program that you could take as an elective. What other school does that? Like so much in my life at the time, I had no idea how weird it really was.So why did I do it? The other kids in the group were really a lot of fun. Non-judgemental, unassuming, and hysterically funny. That’s a good reason, but probably not enough. All right, I’ll tell you: IT. COUNTED. AS. A. P. E. CREDIT. That pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?
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30 comments:
You've come so far to be able to say that in public. "My name is Jason and I'm a recovering Clogger."
That is too funny. Hey, we have all done some seedy things in our past that we are not proud of. I am happy you came through this unharmed (physically anyway)
You are so cute. I bet you just shined in those outfits. :)
Ha! Ha! Hula Hank will be so happy to read this. I'm still not quite ready to share my parents' square dancing past...but maybe sometime soon.
Oh, and now Hula Hank has to post pics hula-ing. A deal's a deal, right?
Oh my gosh! So funny! My school didn't have clogging. I don't think any do in Pa! Are you still friends with any fellow cloggers? You could join facebook and see if they are there.
I love it!!!! The picture is even funnier than I thought it would be (but in the good way!).
Pumpkin is right a deal is a deal. I will have to get some pictures of me hula-ing... where did i put that coconut bikini???
I don't recognize any of those people. I think you got this off google.
(disclaimer: I was not, myself, a clogger. I did, however, know the people involved and I can name names.)
Whatever brother. You. Loved. It.
And one more thing...
Is it telling a bad thing about myself if I admit I went from being married to Gay Husband who was a clogger right into being married to Straight Husband who was a square dancing champion? I did say CHAMPION although I don't know how you get to that, um, status?. There is a green vest with a hundred pins stuck to it out in the garage but Straight Husband is still proud of it... yeah. Maybe you and Straight Husband should get together so some of his self confidence can rub off on you. He has a little to spare. Thanksgiving?
Because it's all about the P.E. Credit. HA HA! We are all laughing with you Jason, not at you.....
Jason,
I was a clogger all my life too, and I still occasionally will break out in some heel-toe action. There is nothing wrong with it-embrace your inner clogger. (Hmm, maybe I am a true Shelton after all- I like goats, I clogg...)
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh.
Okay, I'm better now.
Um, do you still have the scarf? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Of course nobody plans to be a clogger. It's in your blood. Clogging runs through your veins. You can't just wake up one morning and say you want to clog, because not everybody can.
Oh, I'm SO relieved.
I was fearful of a toilet story.
Yeeesh.
A school clogging program? Now I've heard everything!
I am embarrassed to say I took FENCING for a P.E. credit in college. How dorky is that?
For a P.E. credit I would SO have been there right along with you...soooooo much better than the nasty no horrible 12 minute run. Groan
Actually, I DID PLAN ON BEING A CLOGGER! I thought it looked like so. much. fun. Like, tap dancing, with a lot of spunk and rhythm. Id still like to try it, but would look like quite a baffoon at my age. Although I do still dance, in the privacy of my own home, teaching my groovy moves to my kids (who appreciate my talent.)
Honestly, the only strange thing about your clogging....is that you married Claire And she later married the square dance guy....sorry, but that is a bit of an odd coincidence....Id love to see the list of Claire's old flames (no pun intended.)
Ahhh but what we really want is video. Do you have video? I think it's inspiring that you're dealing with these "issues". *wink*
Well, if it was for PE credit...enough said. I used to play the accordian. So did Andy. We're thinknig of starting a family band. Kind of like the Partridge family only different.
The video, all schools have them. Please locate one because the Irish in me loves me some clogging.
You are so funny ... Ok, I used to twirl the baton. Until I was practicing in the living room and it flew into the fish tank : )
Uh, is it bad that I have NO IDEA what a clogger is. Going to look it up right now.
I have never heard of clogging either. But it makes it all that much better to know that you were one.
So did ya do that bent knee, twirly foot move? That always cracks me up!
My cousins clogged all over the midwest, wearing red and white gingham. When I was 9, I really wanted to clog, too. Or disco--it was 1979.
You brave, brave soul.
I did whatever I could to get out of P.E., too. (But we didn't have clogging at our school.)
you were like a morman dugger
ROTFL! I'm sorry. No words, it's just funny!
I am for the whole thing; me and crazy dancing are friends. Always. Well, I guess I'm not for the fake smiles. But cheesy costumes, goofy dancing...sign me up!
Okay just letting you guys all know that the high school my dad went to STILL has a clogging program. At least while I was there which was about 2 years ago.
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