Fact or fiction?.
I was in the middle of an outstanding poetry lesson. The sixth graders were engaged, my material was well-prepared, and I was excited about the topic. Brandon got out of his chair, walked toward the front of the room, and stood there next to me.
"Brandon. Sit down please."
"But, Mr. Show. . ."
"Brandon, you're interrupting the lesson. Please take a seat and I'll talk to you in a few minutes."
"It's just that--"
"Bran-don."
Brandon turned around, eyebrows raised, and began walking toward the back. "I just thought you should know there's some panties on the floor."
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Big bothered sigh from me. The lesson had been officially derailed. I went to the back row, and sure enough, there was a dirty pair of girl's underwear on the floor. Very dirty. Dirty and soiled. In two different ways. You know what I mean. I pictured one of my students sitting in her seat, inconspicuously shimmying out of her drawers and flinging them with her toes to the center aisle. Impossible.
This is the kind of thing they don't tell you about in teacher school.
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In a quiet, high voice, I asked "Umm, Lucero? Could you please pick those up for me and put them in the trash? Whose are these anyway?" Crickets. Crickets and thrity two deer in headlights.
"Lucero? Please? Pick them up?"
"Ewww, Mr. Show, nooooo! But I will if I can use these dictionaries," Lucero replied, pointing to her desk.
"Umm, o--kay." I really didn't know what else to say.
So, she grabbed the dictionaries and ceremoniously scooped the ghastly knickers up, slowly tranported them to the trash, and dropped them in. Instantly, all the boys in the class ran over to the trashcan, like flies to a piece of. . .
"Boys. Back to your seats. Back to your seats!"
Yes, my poetry lesson was definitely derailed, and it wasn't getting back on track, not for a long time.
.
So, now it's up to you, America! In your comments, tell me if you think this story is fact or fiction, and explain your reasoning. I'll reveal the truth in an upcoming post.
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21 comments:
Oh my God, Jason! Bloody Crusty Panties are now sitting at the top of my blog list! Eww, eww, eww! I hope my mother doesn't drop by my blog tonight.
What grade do you teach again? I wouldn't doubt that this is a true story if it's 5th or 6th grade.
I think it's true, but I hope it's not....at least not the part where you drew attention to it and made some pick them up and asked whose they were....
young girls can be horrifically traumatized by such incidents.
So....hoping if it IS true, you quickly tossed them somewhere that nobody could gather, and moved along with the fantastic poetry lesson without any more attention to it.
"The sixth graders were engaged" that right there tells me this is so.not.true!
then again...it IS 6th graders so i guess it could be true.
i'm still going with false because EWWWW
I was in the 6th grad like 12 or 13 years ago and i cannot imagine being bold enough to throw dirty panties in the aisle of the classroom. and i'm pretty sure i would have told my teacher to kiss my ass if he'd asked me to pick them up!
by the way, i'm not insulting your lesson. i've just been in enough 6th grade classrooms in my life and career to know they are rarely if ever actually engaged!
UUhhmm.... I'm gonna say it's true. I've sat in a few public school classrooms. . . nothing surprises me anymore. But can I just say GROSS! What on earth!
I have three kids all of whom have made it through 6th grade still alive (but barely) so I say it's true. I wouldn't put anything past 6th graders - they are the possessed spawn of satan at that age.
I think that it's true. I can picture something like that happening, sadly. Still, that is gross. And I hope that it's not true.
I will say it's true! I can see just that happening to you because, well, you need a little excitement in your life. Like not enough goes on in it :) Here's a little martini for you >-
It worked wonders on my girlfriend!
I'm going to have to go with true. Seriously if you're mind concocted that story I'll be surprised.
Then again....for some reason had you said they belonged to a boy it might be more plausible.
So there you go, I've absolutely no idea.
True!
True. I've taught this age group.
I won't spoil the suspense, but I did get a kick out of calling yourself Mr. Show. Now That's funny!
I totally think it's true. I teach 8th grade and before my current position, I taught 7th. Nothing ceases to amaze me or surprise me about middle school kids anymore. =)
I'm guessing true.
Awesome blog, loved the story of your life so far, your being so open with the good, bad and ugly was brave. My brother went through similar only his was military as opposed to church.
I am adding you to my blogroll so I can continue to read :o)
Boy, I hope it wasn't true.
Dictionaries? Dictionaries?
that's the only thing that confuses me about this story.
If it is true...I can't believe you totally passed the buck to one of your students to pick it up.
I'm guessing that it's not because you probably wouldn't blog about work. HOWEVER, my family is full of teachers and I know that kind of stuff happens. It's entirely possible.
I'm going to say true based on the fact that it would be even grosser if you made that up! :)
I'm going to say false because you don't teach 6th grade. You teach 2nd, right?
I'm dying! hahaha
I teach kindergarten and on our way out to lunch (2.5 hours into our school day) I notice one of the little ones with a pair of "tighty whities" hanging out of the leg of his pants, except they weren't so white.
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