Q & A With Your Token Gay, Part III

Your question is important to us. Please stay on the line. Questions will be answered in the order in which they were received.

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Oreneta asks:

"All right, I came over from HULA, and I've been reading for a week, but I think there is a burning question I have to ask...how do you think the gap in Condoleeza Rice's front teeth is impacting on US foreign policy? Good or Bad?"

Both good and bad. Condi's gap serves as both a liability and point of contention for officials from other countries, but yet it is also her greatest defense strategy. The tooth-gap distraction keeps possible enemies from focusing on the problem at hand, and they quickly forget their gripes and issues against the U.S.

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Tootsie Farklepants asks:

"Tightie whities? Left or right? Well, somebody had to ask."

You're right, Toots. I know it was only a matter of time. So, if you must know, no tightie whities. No boxers. Nothing. Commando. Free as a bird. Footloose and fancy free. Free ballin', if you will. As a result, there really is no left or right, it's just a whole lotta all over the place.

How I kid. I wear tightie blacks, grays, and navies. Whities are too. . . white. . . and not as forgiving in the laundry room. If you know what I mean. Well!? You asked!
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Cortney asks:

"I cannot pass up an opportunity to know your thoughts on canned ravioli - please share! Another burning question is -- What do you think Captain Hook's name was before he had a hook for a hand??? Dying to know!!"

The truth about me and canned ravioli is not what you would think. I live in a very much Italian family, where pasta is never, ever meant to be eaten cold or as leftovers. Until recently, jarred or canned sauce was considered bad enough to require ten Hail Marys, and only parmesan and pasta imported from Italy will do. But I seriously LOVE Chef Boy-ar-dee Ravioli! I don't know why I like it. . . I just do. Probably has something to do with the astronomical sodium content.

And Captain Hook's name before he lost his hand? Captain Kirk.

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Suz asks:

"If you were a character on Sex and the City, which would you be???Also, do you blog at night or in the a.m.? At work? at home? Fully clothed? :) Just kidding, that sounds perverted."

That is so funny you should ask! Just a few days ago some friends of mine at work and I were discussing this same question! They came to the conclusion that I would be Samantha, because I'm old and slutty. What the? I am so not old even though I am a grandpa. And slutty? Excuse me? I'm in an eleven year committed, monogomous relationship? Why would they say I'm slutty?

I said I would be Big. For reasons that I'll just have to leave to your imagination.

During the week, I have to blog in the evening. During the weekend it depends on what else is going on. I can only blog at home as all blogs are blocked at my workplace. Good thing, otherwise I might never get any work done.

And I have blogged in all states of dress/undress. Except not naked. That would feel strange to me, as I consider my readers to be my pals and/or sisters, and that would smack of incest. And I hate incest.

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Your question is important to us. Please stay on the line. Questions will be answered in the order in which they were received.