Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Niece and the Olympics

This is my niece, Arielle Martin. She is going to the Olympic Summer Games in China! She has been riding BMX for as long as I can remember, and as you can imagine, she's good!!! I just received an email from Claire (see below) about Arielle and the summer games.

I have gone to several of Arielle's events, and I'll be honest. They bored me to tears. But Arielle, I don't think I ever told you how totally proud I am of you. You are a true go-getter and I really admire you for working so hard, for being so determined, and making it all happen. As cliche as it sounds.....you are an inspiration to us all!


"Arielle is my niece who has sponsorship for the Olympic Summer Games in Bejing, China next summer. Several of the websites who sponsor her or areaffiliated with the Olympic effort are using polls and counters to judge public awareness. http://bmxnews.com/ Scroll down on the left and vote. You can vote everyday from each computer that you own. :) Have a great day!

Claire Marie"
You go, girl!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Jason Needs

Along the same lines as "Jason Looks Like, " this one is called "Jason Needs." Thank you, Google.
-------
"Jason needs to diet because he has become too fat. Although he admits that his tummy sticks out a bit, he doesn't agree that he has become too fat. ... " (I swear someone was monitoring a conversation I had just this week with Sarah.)



"Jason needs to put on his shirt, overalls, shoes and socks; thus add his mask and tie the (loose) rope around the neck area." (What? Do they want me to kill myself while dressed as a farmer?")



"Jason Needs a Helmet. " (What kind of helmet, exactly, do I need?)



"Jason needs to stop making her think he likes her if its clear he doesnt." (Who could this be referring to?)



"Jason needs no argonauts. " (Maybe I WANT argonauts! The things I could do with some argonauts!)



"Jason needs to SHUT UP." (Sometimes, it is true.)



Jason Needs A Hug ! ... is he sexier than ever lately or what?... (This one is my favorite, and I swear I didn't make it up myself.)



"Jason already has two women (three if you count Carly), the last thing he needs it yet another woman." (Lordy, ain't that the truth!)



"Jason need to visit a therapeutic, he has lost it." (I already lost a while back and I'm already seeing a "therapeutic")



"Jason needs to be given an award." (This is a good one on which to end this post. Bye for now!)

Friday, August 24, 2007

JLo Finally Has a Blog of Her Own!


I am pleased to announce that JLo finally has a blog of her own! My muse will finally make her own thoughts public---so don't delay....go to


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Jason Looks Like

As usual, I'm copying this idea from Kira. Just go to Google and type in "(your name) needs" and take the top ten there you have it! Instant, mindless yet sometimes hilarious entertainment! Here is what Jason looks like....


Jason looks like a midget.






Disfigured even more by a shot of toxic waste, Jason looks like total crap.






Jason looks like he's going to kill himself after this presentation.






Looks like Jason is figting the Judo expert any bets?






Hey i have a pic of what jason looks like under the mask.






Jason looks like my mouth pain for the past couple of weeks and is a major infection.
-
Try it! It's fun!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

I Am Bossy

I've been reading this blog lately. In fact, I just added it to my list of blogs that I frequent. I learned about it from The Pioneer Woman. If you want an interesting, creative blog read that will make you chuckle, add this to your list!
Happy reading!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Diego Rivera Picks His Nose



Send in the Clowns

This little clown smelling a fake rose sitting in the entrance of Buca di Beppo got me into a lot of trouble once. How could it possibly have done that? Well, let me back up say, two years ago. Before we bought our house jointly with my in-laws, I knew there would be some compromising that would need to be done by all parties involved. I knew that I would have to give up a lot of control, a lot of quiet, and a bit of privacy. I knew that we would need to mesh our belongings and deocrating tastes. I knew all of this. But one thing that I somehow overlooked was


THE CLOWNS.



Now, I am not one of those people who is terrified of clowns. I just don't like them. I think they're tacky. They're not funny, not even in the cirus, and especially not at birthday parties. Even worse than real clowns are the fake ones, the ones that are meant to be pretty, poignant, pensive, and peculiar. This clown is in the study. Somehow I find it the most menacing of all, with its outstretched arms and painted on tear.

-
Turns out, as we moved in and began unpacking and arranging things, these clowns began creeping out of the woodwork. This clown dances a melancholy jig when you put a coin in the box.

-

I love my in-laws very much. They are some of the most generous, friendly, warm people I have ever met. They have accepted me as their own son. But sons don't always share the same tastes as their parents, right? This clown straddles the floor lamp in the living room.

-

This particular clown gazes blankly down upon me as I sleep each night.

-

Wait a second. I guess I take that back about hating all clowns. This one I happen to love. Amelia, 4 years old, at Halloween. Giancarlo took this photo and gave it to me as a gift.


-

And, I know the Lladros are exquisite and expensive, but they're not my style. I've actually learned how to co-exist with these two, as they've been watching me sadly for over ten years now.
So back to our little clown at the top of this post, the one at Buca di Beppo. This particular clown had been sitting in our garage ever since we had moved in, and Giancarlo was looking for a white elephant gift for a company Christmas party. The clown was perfect! The fact that it belonged to his mother didn't seem to matter to either of us. The party was being held at...where? Buca di Beppo, of course! The person who received this white elephant gift didn't even want to take it home, so they left it at the restaurant, and it blended in seamlessly.



After a few weeks, the whole incident was forgotten. Until Elsa returned and I was helping her rummage through some boxes in the garage and suddenly she froze in her tracks, eyes wide. I thought maybe she was having another heart episode, but then she said, "Y mis payasos? Donde estan mis payasos?" (And my clowns? Where are my clowns?)



I'm a terrible liar, and of course the truth of the whole sordid white elephant tale came spilling out before I knew what was happening. She was furious that Giancarlo had given away her clown, no less in a white elephant gift exchange, and that it it was so hideous that the recipient didn't even want it and left it behind at Buca di Beppo??!!!



Well, Giancarlo and his brother are ages 42 and 41. And they still are afraid to tell their parents the truth, and they still get in trouble. And they somehow expect me to be a co-conspirator, an accessory to their crimes.



That is precisely why, when Elsa chewed Giancarlo out for the clown incident and didn't speak to him for a day or two, I got in trouble with Giancarlo. I got a punishment of my own because I refused to take part in their lies and deception!



Ay, ay, ay. As Elsa says, "Estos Corsi!"

Paul and Kira Visit the Show: Part 2

To continue on their visit:



These two are loads of fun together. They make me smile! They are happy, upbeat, hardworking, helpful and considerate. I'm as proud as can be of my baby brother-son and his wife.
-

Paul and Amelia get along well now. When Paul lived with us for a couple of years, they had their moments when they drove each other crazy. Especially when third grade Amelia would look over Paul's shoulder while he was doing his eleventh grade homework and try to tell him the answers!

-

Nathan and Hilary also enjoyed spending time with Paul and Kira.


-



Thanks for coming, guys! You're the best!


Sunday, August 12, 2007

Paul and Kira Visit the Show

My youngest brother, Paul, and his wife, Kira, came to SoCal for a visit recently. It was so great to have them here!





While they were here, Hilary, Diego and I took them to Huntington Gardens in Pasadena. Huntington Gardens is my favorite place in the LA area. When I'm there I can't imagine that I'm in the middle of such a huge city.

As usual, Diego refuses to look at the camera.

We went to dinner at Buca di Beppo. If you've never experienced this restaurant, you've got to go, at least once. The food is great and the atmosphere is...well...delightfully, unabashedly, tackily Italian. My goal in life is to one day dine at the pope's table.

Tag!

I've been tagged by my sister, Katrine!
-
-
-
-
-
I’m happiest whenI feel at peace.



Someday I’m going to… go on a cruise around the world.



When I’m really down, what I want to do is… have time alone.



I feel anxious…when I'm sitting in a waiting room.




I like people who… don't get their panties in a wad too easily.




All it takes to make me happy is…give me a few hours with the house all to myself!




What I really want to do is…not mentionable on my blog. (!) Okay, that's not what I REALLY want to do. What I really want to do is see the cure for cancer soon.




I wish that…life were a little bit easier.




I don’t like people who… are rude. And lazy and irresponsible.





A person really should...work their butt off, not sweat the small stuff, not complain too much, and laugh a lot.




I just hate it that…it still bothers me so much when someone is mad at me.




I have everything I need, however…I'd like some extra cash sitting around. Plus, I'd love the assurance that I'll never experience a major earthquake again.



If I could do whatever I wanted...I'd go on a cruise three times a year.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Remembering Hal

Call me a geek. Call me a nerd. Call me a dweeb. Call me an old man. But this man has been a daily part of my life for fifteen years, and now, he is gone. For those of you who do not live in the LA area or are not nearly as dweebish and I am, Hal Fishman was a tv news anchor for channel 5, KTLA. He died at age 75, suddenly and unexpectedly, of colon cancer (how do you die suddenly of colon cancer?). The other night as I watched a tribute to him on the 10:00 news, I seriously teared up and sighed big heavy sighs clear until I went to bed.


Here are some interesting (or not) things about Hal and how he has been such a huge part of my life for so long.

-


1. Claire and I began watching him every night when we first moved to the LA area. We were both amused and impressed by this frog-like man. Okay, actually, as I recall, Claire was never impressed by him at all. Now that I think about it, she often shouted at him because she thought he was such a goon.

-


2. There was something about the way he spoke that reminded me of my dad.

-

3. He had very interesting commentaries. He really told it like he saw it. I didn't always agree with them, but he always had a good point.

-

4. Giancarlo has called Hal Fishman my "boyfriend" for as long as I can remember. Giancarlo has been known to throw fits of jealousy over my relationship with Hal, this man who is five years older than my dad.

-

5. When my youngest brother, Paul, lived with us for a couple of years, he even caught on to life as a Halphile. Paul went so far as to clip a picture of Hal from the newspaper and hang him on his bedroom wall! And Giancarlo never called Hal Paul's "boyfriend."

-

6. Sometimes I wanted to reach into the tv and slap Hal. He was a pilot and knew a lot about aviation in general, and every stinking time there was a story involving an airplane, Hal had to give his little schpeal about his his aviation knowledge and how it related to the story. Particulary if it was a plane crash story.

-


7. Hal holds the record of the longest running news anchor in history.

-

8. Hal had a good sense for what was really newsworthy. But for crying out loud, he never did anything about those damn high speed chases that so conveniently took place during the 10 o'clock news hour, immediately relegating any other story into the end of the newscast, or not at all. I actually emailed Hal about this very thing once, but even so, he DID NOTHING ABOUT IT.

-

9. In spite of our differences, Hal and I have gotten along splendidly over the years. He has been a loyal companion to me as I've had my nightly wine and Cheese Melted onto Triscuits with Hotsauce on Top.

-


10. All the female newcasters and celebrities shamelessly flirted with him, like he was some hot piece of meat. And he loved it.

-

I'm sure my ramblings have made you want to know more about Hal. So, if the spirit so moves you, click below and read about the legend who is now gone. Perhaps he is sharing the Ten O-Clock Eyewitness News Heaven Edition even as we speak.

Caption Contest Results

Well, the results are in! It was very hard to narrow it down, but after a lot of scrutinzing and debating, the prize for the best photo caption goes to....drumroll, please....KIRA!



"Alright, the second she turns her head I'll army roll to the petunias dodge left and lose her by the time I hit the pumpkins."


I loved this clever response.


Thanks so much to all (one) of you who participated! I was overwhelmed by the (one) caption suggestion that came flooding into my comments box. I would post some of the honorable mentions, but I just couldn't narrow it down to just a few (they didn't exitst).


Sigh....The Pioneer Woman I will never be. And Kira, since you were the only one who ventured a caption, you get a real prize! A lifetime with my baby brother! What better prize could there be?


As for the other two of you, you're letting me down. Come on people, throw me a bone here! I'm trying to be like the Pioneer Woman and you're not helping any!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Hmmmm. Photo Caption Contest.

Okay, once again, I'm copying my blog idol, The Pioneer Woman.




Let's have a caption contest! Can you think of a clever caption for this funny photo of Diego and Ines? Post your caption idea as a comment. Then I'll let you know what the winning caption is and if you're the winner you'll get a fabulous prize! (Just kidding. You will get no prize. But I will mention your name and give you full credit. The Pioneer Woman actually gives out prizes, nice prizes, but she has thousands of readers.)




Babewatch: Episode 3

Back to this photo. Remember? From a couple of days ago? Our day at the beach was graciously hosted by Toni, on the left, who has a home at the beach. The fabulous woman on the right is none other than Einnob. Yes, Einnob, my own personal stalker. She stalked me all the way to the beach and made friends with the hostess! In any case, I wanted to put her real face to her name, I can no longer subsist with the cyber Einnob Snrub that is floating around out their in Google Images Land.

In case you don't recall, here is a snippet from a previous post about Einnob, personal stalker.


"You know how there is a small handful of people out there, for whatever reason, with whom you cross paths on a regular basis? I’m not talking about people that you ordinarily see because you work with them, or because you live near them. I’m talking about people that maybe live in the same city as you but you don’t have anything else to really bring you together other than chance, coincidence, and circumstance.One such person I see quite often is, Einnob. Einnob isn’t really her name, but I try to preserve peoples’ anonymity as much as possible. Einnob is one of my friend’s moms, that is how I met her, and once in a while I will see her in connection with that friend. But most of the time, we just happen to be at the same place at the same time. In a city of 175,000. It’s a little creepy.



I go to the market. There’s Einnob.



I go to the hair salon. There’s Einnob.



I go out to eat. There’s Einnob.



I’m walking through a parking lot. There’s Einnob.



I’m sitting at a red light and happen to glance over. There’s Einnob.



Einnob, are you stalking me?"

Babewatch: Episode 2

As our day at the beach came to a conclusion, all the mommies and I decided a group photo was in order. As you may have noticed, Diego has developed an aversion to showing his face to the camera. He does everything he can to have his face away from the camera.



Everybody was all ined up and ready to go, but Diego, far right, had his own agenda.


He wouldn't cooperate with me, and he wouldn't cooperate with Stephanie, one of the mommies.




Oh well.


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Babewatch

On this episode of The Jason Show, the play group takes a trip to the beach!




Diego, I must grip you like this in order for us to get a picture of your face. Hey... is that a cell phone I hear ringing?







Tami, as you're taking a picture of me taking a picture of you taking a picture of me, can you hear a phone ringing?








Diego, as you spin around in circles in the sand, do you hear a phone ringing?






Do you see the phone in the sand?






Grace, is that a phone in your hand? No, it's a snack.











Diego, dig in the sand, maybe the phone is buried.






Lily! You've got a look on your face like you know where the phone is. Do you?





Inot and and Einnob, our gracious hostesses with the mos---uh----that's our gracious hostesses with the most hopitality, is that your cell phone that keeps ringing?




Emma's pointing to the ground. Emma, do you see the phone in the sand?





J-Lo, you're always willing to strike a pose, but do you know whose cell phone keeps ringing?









Bella? Any ideas on the whereabouts of that cell phone that keeps going off?






Matt? No idea, right? Wait. You say I'm getting warmer?





Oh my goodness! This is quite a pleasurable sight. Whose are these? And what could they possibly have to do with a missing phone?

?



?



?



?



?


DOING! There it is! Finally! Would somebody answer that thing?


Sunday, August 5, 2007

100th Episode!!!




Just a few days ago, The Jason Show passed a major milestone---we reached our 100th episode! As many series do, we would like to recap our first 100 episodes with a recap of some of our favorites. Looking back, the writers all agree, that some of this stuff is pretty darn funny, if we do say so ourselves! So, kick back, click on some of these highlights, and reminisce with us.



Don't be afraid to add a new comment or two!






Flo's Hair Palace








Conversations With a Three-Year-Old

























Friday, August 3, 2007

Earthquake!

Note: Just last night we had an earthquake of a 4.5 magnitude. We could definitely feel the shaking and rattling of a few things around the house, but nothing fell off the walls; no damage to report. But it scared me and I was just waiting for the SLAM!SLAM!SLAM! to begin.
.
January 17, 1994, 4:31 a.m.: SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!
.
We were jolted awake and tossed around like a giant shaking gerbils in a shoe box. I bolted upright in our bouncing bed and screamed at the top of my lungs like a woman in the throes of terror. The bookshelf leapt onto the bed and gashed Claire's leg. Out of utter panic and ignorant ignorance, we leapt up and careened out of control through the apartment into the girls' bedroom. Hilary was on the floor, and Amelia was in her walk-in closet/bedroom, covered in blankets and pillows that had fallen on her. I stuck my hands into the darkness of her crib, calling, "Amelia???" She gurgled a response, we let out sighs of relief, and dashed out across the broken glass, dishes, and furniture into the cold, early morning January darkness.




We waited on the steps of our new three story apartment building, wondering to ourselves if we had overreacted. To us, it felt like The Big One. But was it really just one of those tremors that these Californians had become accustomed to, rolling over and going back to sleep?




Moments passed, and slowly people began coming outside, wrapped in blankets, warm jackets, some even in shoes. We had only our pajamas. Claire was wearing only a long t-shirt, but to her dismay, no underwear. Yes, no underwear. The ground continued trembling, resending terror down our spines with each loud aftershock.


What? Oh, you're stuck on the Claire not wearing any underwear thing? Well, luck would have it that the night before she had become ill with the Beijing flu that was going around that year. She has fever, chills, and nausea, plus she was so weak she could hardly walk. She took a shower, pulled on a t-shirt and fell into bed, wet hair and all.


As we waited for some news and something else to happen, Claire began to get more and more cold and uncomfortable. She begged me to go back in the still trembling building to grab her a blanket, so I dashed in just as another aftershock hit, which scared the willies out of me. I seized the comforter off of the bed and ran back outside.

As the sun came up, we heard on someone's radio that the earthquake we had just experienced was not The Big One.

"What??!!!" I whined. "How could that have not been The Big One?"


As our apartment was rendered uninhabitable, we slept in the park that night, feeling the ground underneath our backs continually shifting, trying to find a position in which to rest.


We were so unprepared for this earthquake. We had zero cash and less that a quarter of a tank of gas in the car. All we had in the refridgerator was chocolate pudding and a small turkey ham. So after borrowing some money from a neighbor, we got in the car and fled back to Utah.


We left the following scenes behind us, wondering if we would be returning.






It turned out that around 70 people were killed in this 6.7 quake. After things settled down a few weeks later, we all returned to California to give it another go here. We liked it here that much!

.